The Social Distancing Diaries
We keep hearing it over and over again, and I know we are feeling it also: these are historic and unprecedented times we are in. In my short 33 years, the only points of reference I have are 9/11 and the 2008-2009 recession...and it feels like those two things combined and multiplied to the nth degree. This is one of those moments in time that will be written about in history books...that we will tell our grandchildren about...that will affect how we see and move through the world for the rest of our lives—The Pandemic of 2020.
I started jokingly tweeting about my #SocialDistancingDiaries, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of keeping a "digital diary" during this time to help process my feelings, to bring a little levity to these uncertain times, and to look back on years from now. (Or for some alien civilization to find in case this whole thing goes to hell in a handbasket and life as we know it ceases to exist. I kid, I kid.) This will just be my personal experience with a little bit of outside news sprinkled in. I'll continue to update this weekly as it goes on, so feel free to check back in every now and then. And if you feel like it, leave a comment below and share your personal experiences during this bizarre time!
MARCH 14TH - DAY 1:
Okay, it's starting to feel unsettling. Maybe it's because yesterday was Friday the 13th? Although every day this year has kind of felt like Friday the 13th, honestly. I think today needs to be the day that we start quarantining. The groceries have been bought and a new water filter has been purchased. All that's left now is a manicure...because #priorities. [Yesterday they announced the first known cases of COVID-19 in AL (6), declared a state of emergency, and shut down schools until April 6]
MARCH 15TH - DAY 2:
So I've been trying to find new shows to watch during this quarantine downtime, and I just discovered 'Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist'. I'm overjoyed, because it's filling this gigantic GLEE-sized hole in my heart. But I'm also pissed at everyone I know for letting me sleep on this show for this long. *resumes binge*
MARCH 16TH - DAY 3:
I think I'm going to take advantage of this time and do a lot of self-care. I wonder how many face masks are too many in a day?And this will be a great opportunity to get back to meal-prepping and doing some at-home workouts! I'm going to come out of this quarantine in the best shape of my life!
MARCH 17TH - DAY 4:
The sun is finally out! You don't realize how much you need and appreciate fresh air and sunshine until you're literally confined to your house. Taking the pup for lots of walks, which is great for both of our mental health and moods.
Speaking of mental health, I did leave the house to visit my therapist, but it's a small office and we practiced responsible social distancing and disinfecting. My anxiety and I have never been more thankful to have an angel of a therapist than right now. Oh, and for the record...Vanessa Hudgens is trash and has always been trash.
MARCH 18TH - DAY 5:
First day doing the radio show with "social distancing" in mind. Instead of driving into the station, they just had me call in and participate in the conversation. Which was wonderful. But now I'm wondering...why the hell have I been driving my ass all the way to Athens this whole time?
This afternoon I received an email from my gym informing me that it will be providing access to Les Mills on-demand classes at no additional cost until further notice! Now just waiting for a follow-up email that has some motivation attached.
Also, today the hubs learned he would need to file for unemployment, as he literally cannot do his job with everything being shut down. But worse than that...he just went to the store to get #QuarantineSnacks, and for my "sweet snack" he brought me back...pop tarts?? POP TARTS. But not regular pop tarts, no…BLUEBERRY pop tarts. We may not survive this after all. [Today the AL Runoff Elections were officially postponed until July 14]
MARCH 19TH - DAY 6:
Today I recorded audio of my TV show at the radio station (because the show must go on, right?); suffered an insane stress headache (or a hangover from last night’s wine...who knows....I’m not a doctor); and screamed at my TV when “breaking news” ruined an entire episode of Jeopardy!—so I guess you could say I'm thriving.
MARCH 20TH - DAY 7:
We have officially survived Week 1 of #QuarantineLife. And because all we've basically been doing is looking at screens for the past week, hubs and I opted to have a screen-free date night. After spending an hour of trying to figure out what that means or looks like, we decided to bust out of our bubble and brave the rain and the 'rona by going to Walmart to find a game or two that would be fun for two people. They were closed...it was 8:30PM. Driving back to the house and seeing how dark and empty all of the parking lots and streets and businesses were on a Friday night made it sink in a little deeper and feel a little more real. Thankfully Sonic's drive-thru was still open, so we settled on some ice cream, adult beverages, and a bunch of card games that neither of us had played in years. We listened to music and talked and laughed, and it was everything that my soul needed in these weird-ass times. And I have never been more thankful for this quarantine partner of mine. [In AL, the total number of confirmed cases has now surpassed 100 (106).]
MARCH 21ST- DAY 8:
Well, today I baked, cooked dinner, (willingly) talked on the phone for a full hour, AND cleaned my kitchen…twice. So basically I’ve officially reached the “who the f**k am I even?” phase a lot sooner than anticipated. Oh, and that whole Day 3 idea of "coming out of this quarantine in the best shape of my life!" Yeah...that was a nice thought... *resumes eating third ice cream sandwich*
MARCH 22ND - DAY 9:
People are starting to do all of these “tag 10 people challenge” posts where they are tagging friends on social media to see what they're doing, how they're handling quarantine, and asking them to share pics of their cute pets. I’m truly loving all of these posts to help us feel more seen and connected to one another…but I put out a warning that if any of these assholes tag me in the "push-up challenge", I’m blocking their ass. That’s just rude.Oh, and for the record...Sen. Rand Paul is trash and has always been trash. [In AL, the total number of confirmed cases has reached 150.]
MARCH 23RD - DAY 10:
The new DOOM game was released today, and I wonder how many relationships this is currently saving? I'm also realizing that this quarantine means that my 45-supporting relatives now have pleeenty of downtime to troll my posts. Sweet 6lb 8oz baby Jesus, give me strength.
Also also...reeaally wishing we had bought more toilet paper...
MARCH 24TH - DAY 11:
(AKA "The day I had to actually look at a calendar to know what day it is") In our house today…Working human (me) got out of bed at 7:45 AM; Non-working human (hubs) got out of bed at 9:45 AM; The freeloader (the pup) got out of bed at 10:45 AM. They’re both so very lucky they’re cute.
Also had my first "Telehealth" appointment with my therapist (which is what we will continue to do until further notice), and I again am feeling so incredibly thankful to have her during these tough times. [Birmingham issued a stay-at-home order (as a 24-hour curfew) effective March 24 to April 3.]
Oh, and thanking the Universe for Tim Send. #HashtagTheCowboy
MARCH 25TH - DAY 12:
Today I decided to start my own challenge. In spite of the chaos and uncertainty happening in the world right now (and my elevated levels of stress and anxiety), I am choosing to shift my focus to one of the few things I do have control over—my perspective. So I decided to create this challenge not only for myself but also to encourage others to focus on and share what they're grateful for over the next 7 days.
Today was also my baby brother's 31st birthday. Since he lives in Indy and my family is practicing proper social distancing, we decided to set up a virtual birthday get-together via Zoom with my brother's household, our household, and my mom's household...and I have truly not laughed til I cried like that in so long (mostly due to us spending the first 10 minutes trying to explain to my mom that she needed to hold the phone waaay further away from her face, and then her finally getting frustrated by not knowing how to turn it off and just shutting her phone in drawer...with the Zoom still on. LOL). I miss my family so much, but I'm so thankful for today's technology.
Oh, and I sent an open letter to my elected officials via Resistbot urging them to ACT NOW by issuing a "shelter-in-place" for the state of Alabama. (You can imagine how well that didn't work.) [In AL, the total number of confirmed cases jumped to 386 from 219. The number of people tested is 2,812. The first death in the state is reported in Jackson County. Tuscaloosa issued a city-wide curfew, lasting from 10:00 PM until 5:00 AM each day, effective March 27 to April 3.]
MARCH 26TH - DAY 13:
In a press conference today, Governor Ivey said that she would not issue a "shelter-in-place" order. She was quoted as saying, "Y’all, we are not Louisiana, we are not New York state, we are not California…Right now is not the time to order people to shelter-in-place." Meanwhile, it has been reported that from March 22-26, 59,783 Alabamians filed for unemployment, as well as 500 cases of COVID-19. So while we're talking about "things we're not," you, Gov'nah Meemaw, are in fact NOT a good leader.
Silver-lining was having a delightful (virtual) happy hour on my back patio with some of my fave women and a large tequila drink. My soul is feeling restored once again. I miss my friends.
MARCH 27TH - DAY 14:
(AKA "the day that my husband threatened to cut me off from our Amazon account") If this in fact happens, I will consider it an act of war and therefore cannot be held responsible for the repercussions. #TheyMayTakeAwayOurLivesButTheyllNeverTakeOurPrime
Since we had officially survived our second week in quarantine, we decided to call a truce and ended up having a really lovely "quarantine date night". He cooked some bomb-ass steaks, and we queued up "Tiger King" on Netflix. On a related note: WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?!
MARCH 28TH - DAY 15:
Anyone who knows me knows that I am no cook/baker, nor do I aspire to be such. (Which may seem strange for someone who loves few things more than eating) But since this #quarantinelife has begun, I have managed to successfully cook some meals like chicken parm and Asian stir fry, but today...today I reached what will most certainly be the pinnacle of my cooking/baking mastery: I made a delicious, grandma-approved banana nut bread from scratch! Even the hubs liked it, and that's truly saying a lot. So now I'm just stress-eating this bread and waiting for Food Network to holla at me and green-light my new baking show. [Gov. Ivey still refuses to issue a Shelter-in-Place order, because of course.]
MARCH 29TH - DAY 16:
Going into this third week of social distancing, and this weather is truly saving my mood and my soul. Our backyard has always been one of my favorite parts of our home, but I have never truly appreciated it until now. To be able to just sit outside and work or enjoy a cup of coffee while listening to the birds chirp and watching the squirrels build their nests has been an unexpected joy these days. There's just something about a beautiful, calm Sunday morning that makes you believe that everything really will be okay...
Another highlight from today: I got to have a (wine-filled) Zoom call with some of my dearest, OG friends from high school, and it was most definitely good for my soul. I love my people.
MARCH 30TH - DAY 17:
Since this quarantine time, days are starting to run together. (I think I read somewhere that they've completely done away with the traditional week, and now it is just "yesterday", "today", and "tomorrow") But for those of us who are (very fortunately) still working, Mondays are still kind of a bummer. So today, the hubs and I took my lunch break to explore this little hidden gem near our home called Beaverdam Boardwalk. It was a great way to get some fresh air, be in nature, and break up the day in a different and spontaneous way. (10/10 recommend)
Again...hitting Week 3 of quarantine over the weekend here at House Handback, and honestly, it’s been harder trying to stay upbeat. The gorgeous weather has certainly made a difference, but music has always been something that’s helped cheer me up, forced me to have a good cry, and made me dance til I drop it too low. (#thisis30) One of the things I loved most about being a spin instructor was getting to make themed playlists for my rides, so I thought this was a fantastic opportunity to curate my own PANDEMIC PLAYLIST. I'm normally not one to toot my own horn, but uhh...*toot toot, y'all*
MARCH 31ST - DAY 18:
AKA March 867 (Seriously...has this felt like the longest month literally ever or what?!) I'm clearly starting to lose it, because I have found myself down a rabbit hole of cutesy survey FB posts and "this or that" IG stories. Ugh. Even I'm starting to become annoyed by myself.
I had a virtual appointment with my therapist, which again is a privilege in and of itself. We talked about how I was coping during these trying times, and I told her that in spite of my anxiety disorder, I'm actually doing fairly well...and I think it's because I feel like having had anxiety for as long as I can remember, I'm feeling some sort of weird comfort that the rest of the world seems to have caught up with me/is now on my level. Obviously, I don't wish for that or this stupid pandemic, but I think that may be what's keeping my anxiety from spiraling. (That and therapy + CBD gummies) I told her I was trying to stay focused on the positive, and she commended me for that but also reminded me that's okay—nay, encouraged—to still allow myself to feel those sad/scary/heavy feelings. And with that sage advice, I had the hardest, most cathartic cry I've had in a long time. Still trying to celebrate the little joys in life, but also remembering (especially in this scary time) that it's okay not to be okay.
I did learn a new survival skill today though...I successfully removed my SNS polish and gave myself an old-fashioned manicure. I'M A SURVIVOR, Y'ALL.
APRIL 1ST - DAY 19:
Gotta be honest...today I was on the lookout for any jackwagon who thought it would be cute to actually participate in April Fools' Day today. No sign of one yet, fortunately. I think we can all agree that April Fools' Day is canceled this year.
Oh, and the hubs’ #quarantinecrazies are in full force. So many silly/goofy antics followed by him (very dramatically) exclaiming: “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!” Really empathizing with all my friends with small children right now.
I also may have taken my therapist's advice a little too much to heart. I may or may not have watched this video 20+ times and spent half my day lip-syncing along while sobbing at my desk. I'm fine. Really...I'm fine.
But to end this on a high note, today was the day that we found out Chipotle now delivers to our house. Our lives will never be the same again. [In AL, COVID-19 cases reached 1,000 cases, according to the ADPH. 24 total deaths were reported with 17 confirmed. Still no Shelter-in-Place order has been issued.]
APRIL 2ND - DAY 20:
AKA The first day ya girl has put on real pants during this quarantine time. (Verdict is in: buttons/zippers are most definitely for the birds. #teamelasticwaistbands)
We're still recording the audio version of Alabama Politics This Week (because the show must go on, right?), and today I got to do my first solo interview with ADP Chairman, Rep. Chris England. I'm still battling severe anxiety and Impostor Syndrome, as well as trying to build my confidence. Writing is so much easier for me. This audio/visual medium with one-takes and time restraints honestly sucks. Trying to give myself grace, but this paired with the weight of now living in The Upside Down is feeling heavier and heavier.
Also today Governor Meemaw did a Twitter Q&A that she will undoubtedly regret based on the responses I'm seeing. The support for a Shelter-in-Place order seems to be incredibly (and semi-shockingly) bipartisan, and yet she STILL refuses to commit to it, stating: "Each state has to weigh their own set of factors. I’m in communication with local, state & federal officials on a daily basis. We are taking a measured approach to keep Alabamians healthy, safe & working, wherever possible." I had some feelings about that...Like, lots of feelings...
My super cute co-worker is really helping to keep my spirits up though. (Although she can be kind of a bitch sometimes...)
APRIL 3RD - DAY 21:
Holy hell. Three full weeks. I honestly wasn't sure if we were going to make it to this point. But here we are. Today was kind of a shitty day at the office, but again...at least I was able to make my back patio my "office" for the day. My heart has also been panged by empathy and guilt this week. Hearing these stories from friends and loved ones (and even strangers) who are really feeling the effects of this pandemic—whether it’s how hard (or non-existent) their jobs are right now, having some of their loved ones contract the virus, owning small businesses that are suffering, or managing a household of children while still trying to survive mentally/emotionally themselves. It really is getting harder. Life hasn't been a walk in the park for us during this time, but I am constantly reminded of just how lucky we truly are. And I am equal parts grateful and guilt-ridden for that.
And I'll be damned...Gov. Meemaw *finally* issued a Stay-at-Home order (if you can even call it that) for the entire state of Alabama. I wonder if it had anything to do with the inundation of requests for this during her lame and performative Twitter Q&A yesterday? Better late than all of us dead, I guess?
Despite my terrible mood, the hubs had the great idea to order curbside from a local place, catch up on Jeopardy! (Alex Trebek is a national treasure, and I will not be judged by you!), and play our version of "beer pong" and card drinking games whilst jamming out to my sweet Pandemic Playlist. Nothing like some sweet tunes, beating your husband at cards, and a little (read: whole lotta) tequila to turn your attitude right-side up.
APRIL 4TH - DAY 22:
Today was a day of discovery: I had been asking for a new series rec that I could invest in (you know...since we have time to do that sort of thing now), and I remembered several people telling me that I would love the show The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. One episode in, and I'm obsessed! To make it better, the hubs actually enjoys watching it, too...which is nice, because honestly the only thing we can agree on to watch together is Jeopardy!, and well...that's a lot of pressure to put on Sir Alex Trebek.
Oh, and I also learned that my tequila tolerance has lowered in my 30's, but my susceptibility to hangovers is at an all-time high.
APRIL 5TH - DAY 23:
Well, today I reached new level on the Pandemic Scale...I have started having quarantine dreams. I'm usually one who hardly ever remembers their dreams, but last night I dreamt that a friend of mine and I were meeting up at random locations trying to find toilet paper...and once we found a place, we could only buy single rolls at a time...and I may or may not have knocked down an old lady in a walker to grab three more rolls. Wonder if this means I'm in the process of losing it or if I've already mostly lost it...?
Today we also had to break down and groom Trixie. This may not sound like a big deal to most, but what you may not know is: she normally has to be fully sedated in order to be groomed. In the past we had tried wearing her out before taking her to the groomer...giving her Benadryl...and even having our vet give her a mild sedative beforehand. Nope. Apparently, our girl is (as our groomer lovingly put it) "a mean drunk." So you can imagine why we would be so reluctant to undertake this task. BUT with a few tricks, a little Benadryl, and a whooole lot of patience (read: taking turns cursing and calming the other person down), we were able to shave her back-end and trim her face. And I have honestly never felt more accomplished or deserving of the tequila drink I swore off just this morning...
APRIL 6TH - DAY 24:
I have still managed to avoid learning a TikTok dance and/or trimming my bangs…and I may have just Jedi mind-tricked my husband into getting (nay, wanting!) an Instant Pot. Am I winning quarantine?!
APRIL 7TH - DAY 25:
Today the heaviness of what's happening is feeling more real by the day. The hardest part of all of this has been knowing how much some of my friends and loved ones are suffering but not being able to do a damn thing about it...not even hug them or hold their hand.
Therapy. Therapy. Therapy. Thank god for therapy.
Oh, and today Gov. Meemaw—along with several local faith leaders—launched a “Ribbons of Hope” campaign to remind everyone to pray for medical personnel and first responders. She did this by parading around in front of the capitol (and photographers) NOT socially-distanced from these other people whilst tying giant, tacky ribbons to trees. Like, I fully support the message (I mean, truly bless these frontline workers...all of them), but FFS you cannot issue a Stay-At-Home Order and expect people to take it seriously when they see you're out and about doing your performative political photo shoot bullshit. Uuuggghhh.
APRIL 8TH - DAY 26:
I've still been taking lots of walks around our neighborhood which have become quite the highlight of my quarantine days. Today was different though. We have lived in our home for almost two years now, and I have maybe spoken to 3-4 of our neighbors. But today it seemed like almost everyone was out on their front lawns playing, riding bikes in their driveways, doing yard work, barbecuing, or just sitting on their porch...and I kid you not, I had 5 full-on conversations (at an appropriate social distance) with neighbors and waved/said "hello" to maybe a half dozen more. It was so strange, yet so beautiful...like something out of Pleasantville.
Also...how is that will all this craziness going on we still have to get our periods?! Rude.
APRIL 9TH - DAY 27:
Today was our fourth show recording via social distancing, and honestly...I much prefer it this way. Although I may be taking the whole "doesn't matter what I look like, because I'm not on TV and no one can see so who cares" attitude a little too seriously.
The hubs also made a trip to the grocery store, but against my (repeated) insistence, he did so WITHOUT A LIST. And I hate to even admit it, but...he actually brought home a pretty good haul—even securing the bag! (AKA he got that white gold...TP)
Despite it being a pretty decent day (and my "Friday" no less), I still have this bad mood I've had a hard time shaking. So I decided to crank up some QuaranTunes and clean my kitchen, and wouldn't you know it...I immediately felt better. I guess this really is who I am now...
APRIL 10TH - DAY 28:
Today I was (thankfully) off work, so I talked hubs into going on a hike with me on Monte Sano Mountain. Trails and sunshine and waterfalls...talk about food for the soul. ("Alexa: Play 'Waterfalls' by TLC")
Downer for the day: I (along with what appeared to be millions of others) was bamboozled into believing that the original cast of Hamilton was going to perform all of the songs from the musical via YouTube live (#HamAtHome). Good news...now that it's out there, it may actually come true! (Let us pray to the Broadway gods...) [In AL, there have been 3,274 confirmed cases and 89 deaths]