This One's for the Girls
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
― Anaïs Nin
Although it's been said many times and in many ways, I don't believe it can really be stated enough: this past year has been HARD. A year full of loss, fear, uncertainty, chaos, and distance. Even this introvert has felt the heaviness and pain of that distance and isolation. I have never been more grateful for my amazing husband and the opportunity to safely spend time with some of our immediate family but in all honesty...I miss my friends.
I miss Girls' Nights Out and wine night get-togethers and weekend coffee dates and random road trips and just being together—laughing, venting, crying, sharing ideas, and spilling all the tea. Sure, we still have group chats and Zooms and FaceTime, but nothing can fully replace being together under one roof. I miss the hugs and cheersing and high-fives—all of it. BUT...even with the distance and separation, the women in my life have still somehow managed to save me.
It's easy for us to focus on all the terrible things 2020 brought (and continues to bring) us, but it has also personally brought me a deep appreciation for all the wonderful things (mainly people) I have in my life. These women—in spite of their own personal struggles in the midst of this shit-show we are currently referring to as "life"—have encouraged me, checked in on me, loved on me, uplifted me, and inspired me in ways that still leave me in awe. The ability to continually pour into others, even when you yourself feel mentally/emotionally/physically/spiritually depleted, I believe is a characteristic that is so specific to women, and I continue to be amazed by it.
“My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges.”
— Helen Keller
I'll admit that when I was younger, I didn't have many serious female friendships. Hell, my mother had to basically bribe me to even go through my college sorority recruitment, because I had ZERO desire to expand my tiny female-friend universe (but I am oh-so-thankful she did). I am so lucky to have some incredible men in my life, but the older I have gotten, the more I realize that it has been the women and female relationships in my life that have truly shaped me into the woman I am today and continue to evolve into. From family members to besties...coworkers to mentors...acquaintances to those I admire from afar, they have all made a lasting impact on me in big and small ways.
So if you are a woman in my life reading this—regardless of how close we may or may not be—please know that I see you, I respect you, I appreciate you, and I thank you. And especially during this past year, whether you provided me with career opportunities, offered kind words of encouragement during my darkest days, made me belly-laugh when I needed it most, supported me and my passions, or allowed a safe space for me to be myself, I am forever grateful. Although still very much flawed, I am most certainly a product of all the phenomenal women around me, and I hope that from now on when you look at me, you will see that glimmer of yourself that is now a part of me reflected back.
“Women understand. We may share experiences, make jokes, paint pictures, and describe humiliations that mean nothing to men, but women understand. The odd thing about these deep and personal connections of women is that they often ignore barriers of age, economics, worldly experience, race, culture — all the barriers that, in male or mixed society, had seemed so difficult to cross.”
— Gloria Steinem