Get Your Flowers

“Nah, I’m not a flowers and chocolates kind of girl…Valentine’s Day is dumb anyway.”

That was me in my 20’s, and I tear up (and slightly cringe) now thinking back on those times. Because the truth is…I was a flowers and chocolates kind of girl.

In my heart I so desperately wanted to be showered with cutesy, pink-and-red gifts and doted on like all the other girls I saw, but in my mind I thought I had to be different…be “cool” and “not like the other girls.” I was afraid I’d appear “high maintenance” or “needy” or “spoiled” or some other ridiculous thing that I couldn’t handle being associated with.

So instead I quelled my desires and dulled my shine in order to be more palatable to guys, thinking that would somehow make me more attractive to whomever I was with. But then that type of behavior festered and seeped into various facets of my life…

I found myself going along with things I didn’t actually want to do in fear of being “disagreeable” or “difficult”… At times I could almost physically feel myself shrinking to fit whatever mold seemed most appropriate for the occasion/person. The fear of being “too much” or (god forbid) not enough for someone was too much for 20-something me to handle.

But not anymore.

If my 30’s (and 3 years of therapy) have taught me anything, it’s that it’s not only okay to be your full self, it’s necessary. Ask for what you need and want. Let people know how you feel. Make your voice heard.

If I could tell younger me anything, it would that it doesn’t matter if others think you’re “extra” or “ridiculous”…you are worthy and deserving and enough.

And that goes for you, too.

If you want flowers, get all the flowers. If you want the cheesy box of chocolates, ask for them. Whether it’s from your bae or from yourself, you deserve to be and feel loved, fully. And if you genuinely aren’t a flowers-and-chocolates gal or are anti-Valentine’s Day in general, that’s cool, too! Just as long as that’s who you truly are and you’re not trying to be “too much” for someone else.

Because as a wise woman once said (err, sang?)… “If I’m too much, go find less.” 😘